Let me tell you. I was having enough of all these people. Usually, I'm very patient, very slow to anger. Trust me. All my snarky remarks are my personally. All my witticisms are made either so people leave me alone, for my own amusement, or for the amusement of others. Sometimes, I try to tick someone off, if only because it is fun.
But everyone here just had to try and pick holes in my argument. Yes, like I have all the answers. Like I have great almighty power and wisdom. Ever heard of teamwork? What makes you all think that just me, or much more, just the group of us are going to solve this problem?
It all started with her. Spandex Lady. Correcting me on her codename. Yeah, nobody cares about anyone's codename. Am I dressed up in a tight-fitting uniform hugging my even tighter butt? No, I'm wearing perfectly loose, perfectly baggy pants so I won't astound you with how tight my ass is.
Sorry, I really don't like supers. Heroes or villains. Just neither.
"Okay, Pistachio. First off, no costume. So I am so very wise. Thank you. Second, we don't, but I'm sure one of the big league superheroes or scientists have one or maybe something better. Oh, y'know, I could be insane to think we should ask for help from people like that. Or maybe even more so for thinking they might have a half-decent idea to solve or at least mitigate the problem until something better is found. Huh?"
Oh, and it just got worse. So much worse. The fishman decided to point his weapon at me. The little glowy trident. At me. The peacemaker. The guy negotiating some form of truce, some semblance of calm. Need I also remind everyone that I was also the one person to not point a weapon, heck, much less a spell or even a hand at anyone. I just froze some water to save someone. What the hell?
"Urchin? I'm sorry. But this ain't no fucking My Little Mermaid musical bullshit, Flounder. Point that damm thing away from me. I haven't done anything to you. And I don't give a fuck for status quo. But this is going to make things worse for you and your message. All it takes for them to send someone way stronger than us, than you, and you're done. Nothing gets accomplished. I'm trying to help-."
Then that caped idiot, which I could understand his anger but still, decided to pipe in. Honestly, I could care less for what the meathead had to say. An unoriginal nickname, yes, but I reserve it for those who actually fit that description.
"Shut up, you're not-. Oh sunnava-!"
More than that, everyone decided to go right back to fighting. While caped idiot decided to swing a lamppost like a baseball bat right at Flounder, Pistachio and I had to deal with a current that rivaled a tsunami in how much it was going to be actual hell. And the rapids were comprised of nothing more than sewage. Y'know, for a guy who hated trash in his water, he had no reservations about using it as a weapon.
I was ready to bounce on out. Hell, I considered just leaving and let everyone kill themselves. Good! Great! Because then maybe a death or two, everyone will realize talking is usually the best way to go than just provoking more violence.
So just about when I was about to make my great escape, I felt something get ahold of me. I couldn't quite understand it at the moment, as sudden as it was, but later, when my body crashed atop a nearby rooftop, away from the wave of sludge that threatened me, I realized what happened. Forcing away the sudden dizziness and vertigo, I found anger to be bubbling up inside of me. The kind where it grows from the pit of your stomach into your chest.
That stupid Pistachio girl tried saving my life. Like I did. What an utter moron! When I want a favor paid back, I'll ask! When I want to be saved, I'll ask! Great. Now I feel like I owe her. Wait, where is she? Shouldn't she be up here too? I mean, she's quick, right? Unless . . .
She's still down there. Dammit all. Dammit all to hell.
She's hurt because of me. Why the hell did I get involved? Still, she seems okay at least. That's a relief. I cannot afford the therapy if someone died because of me. She's even moving around with her usual grace and even managed to limit the effects the current had on damaging the surrounding areas as well as the buildings and vehicles. Still, if she pulls that crap again, I'mma gonna kick the shit out of her!
Right now, however, I'm no use to anyone up here and with the limited power I have. I need a game plan, something quick.
One idea. Only one. If this guy can manipulate water and is what he claims to be, then there is one way to beat him without killing him. Two actually. Either snap his spinal cord or puncture a lung with a rib. Either way, the fish man would be severally compromised in the fight, being neutralized and forced to surrender. Now, I know what you're thinking! I must be insane! I must want to kill the guy!
But if my hunch is correct and they usually are, and, if what this guy says is true, then we have a shot at using his own strengths against him. I dispel my clones and my divided magical energies return to me. No doubt my doubles cleared everyone out alongside the police and the emergency services handling this fiasco. Besides, I'll need the extra energy.
Then I made my move and ran down the side of the building before leaping and sprinting across the water. You heard me. Across. I'm pulling what we wizards call a Jesus move. I can see why he did stuff like this. Fun as hell.
In order for this to work, I have to build up momentum. I run along the rapids, spinning and flipping my body before settling myself once more on the water's surface, not losing a moment nor skipping a beat. I spin around one more time and deliver the fiercest back kick I could, straight to the ribs.
But that's not all. Right before I initiated the move, before impact, I channeled whatever inner energy I could as well as much magic as possible into a reinforcement spell of my own design. My entire leg would be covered in a black, almost metallic sheen as it struck.
The problem was that the caped idiot kept using weapons that metahumans were designed to take hits from. They all throw cars, get smashed through buildings, and eat bullets for breakfast.
But what if instead of beating someone with a regular metal bat, you had your own metahuman metal bat? Sorta like how Flounder had his own special trident. That's what I was in the moment. Or at least, my leg was. A living anti-metahuman weapon.
I don't know if this will be enough. Flounder has been taking hit after hit and not slowing down. If this doesn't work, I'm going to be at a serious disadvantage if he aims that trident around at me. Especially considering I used a good deal of whatever energy I could muster for that attack.
I should have just ran for the hills. God, may something break. Just break dammit!