(REQ)(One) Red Smoke, Black Fire

With a suggested standard of two paragraphs or more and dedicated lore threads, this is for the more verbose roleplayer. (10+ sentences per post, on average.)
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Erik Black
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(REQ)(One) Red Smoke, Black Fire

Post by Erik Black » Thu Jun 15, 2017 2:58 am

"Remember? Kids once, you and I. Can't say either of us, was good."

"What are you implying, Max? Grown too old, miss youth, as it was? A ghost, Max. Don't chase it."

"Didn't think I had the strength to. Barely running anymore, as is. Can barely light my lamp anymore, and you're in perfect shape. Never changed once, in forty years."

"What can I say? What I have, it's good for me."

"Fuckin' showoff." Max chortled, stopping to breath in at the end of a filter. His breath came out like thin fog, dark and moody. A tap, dead ash fell to the ground far below the rooftop retreat. A neon sign flickered by the door, long strings of Christmas lights hung from nails and poles around a couch, ice chest, television. The box buzzed with canned laughter, and cartoonish sounds.

"So old, I remember The Three Stooges when they first started."

"Yeah? Good shows. Shame, the fathers of stand-up don't make us smile."

"What can I say? Black's good on us."

"You make puns of my name every minute. Can we smoke without that?"

"Fine, fine." Max's pale hand pushed a long pack of Marlboro Red cigarettes across the brownstone ledge. A slightly darker hand withdrew one, lips closing around the filter. The end smoldered immediately.

"I tell you, Erik, you're gonna be the man to change the world. Raise hell itself, burn it, or scream at the sky. Doesn't matter to me. Gonna be dead before I get down the fucking stairs."

"There is an elevator." Erik responded. He was dressed warmly, in a brown trench coat. Tangled and curled hair had grown the past few years, untamed. He pulled off a savage, sexy look quite well, without intending it. Max couldn't keep his elbows up long enough to pose. Erik chuckled under his breath, puffs of soothing tobacco smoke coming with it.

"Forgot, long ago, why I'm still here. Same building, same spot since we were sixteen. Your dad never did catch us up here, did he? Always thought we'd run off to the shop to see the newest games, or to watch the Stooges."

"Still do." Max said, with a dry voice. Both were so unlike. Yet, for all this time, they had been friends. Brothers, even.

What would happen by moon's zenith? Max seemed to be silent on something, and Erik was on edge. He knew something was wrong. The smell of sulfur had been at the back of his nose for a while, and he knew this night, the anniversary of a terrible event, as Hell's Mouth.
"Where's the grin you just wore? Did I break it from your lips?"

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Erik Black
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Re: (REQ)(One) Red Smoke, Black Fire

Post by Erik Black » Thu Jun 15, 2017 11:59 am

Ah, I've forgotten a few things, haven't I?

Well, never too late, I suppose.

I'm your host, persona Erik Black. This story will take on psychological and very disturbing themes, as well as various potential triggers to trauma, so if you are squeemish, I'd very much advise you to move along. Continuing on, I have very few rules, and they should be fairly simple to live up to.

Combat: I will be controlling any "boss" type creatures in this story, and though I'm very elaborate with how I fight, do not let that dissuade you. Through combat, I follow the foundation rules for many common rulesets, the basics and most obvious, which I should not need to state, but I will anyway.

Godmodding, metagaming, instant kills(unless reasonable or performed on weaker opponents), character controlling(the action of taking control of a character that is not yours.), are forbidden. All actions must be explained well enough to understand, but small things may be left out(such as the end effect of a magical attack.)

Writing: Simply put, equal length is not a must, but preferred. I will let one or two(on very low muse) less paragraphs pass, as long as the important things are covered to progress onward. I do reply quickly, and I ask that you in return reply at least once.a day if possible. For the writing itself, you don't need to match my style by any means, but I very much enjoy writing using rarer words. A balter of creativity and word, if you will.

I do not require a character sheet, I do enjoy learning about my partner's persona just as much as I enjoy teaching them about mine.

That is all. Thank you, and please, allow me to serve you only the best I have.
"Where's the grin you just wore? Did I break it from your lips?"

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Stitches
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Re: (REQ)(One) Red Smoke, Black Fire

Post by Stitches » Thu Jun 15, 2017 4:31 pm

Someone didnt read the Advanced section rules. Seeing as how our beloved Advanced moderator is currently not on, allow me to bestow some much needed information on you.

1. Advanced has a certain posting requirement. 2 paragraphs, minimum. Thereby nullifying your requirement. So long as they post the SECTION requirement, they're fine.

2. Speaking of requirements, your introduction just barely reaches the minimum. When counting sentences, dialogue doesn't count, sweetie.

3. Oh yeah, and character sheets are required everywhere except Free Form, but I highly doubt you'd be interested in us moving your rp there. So you need to structure a sheet and post it. That includes for YOUR character.

And as a final note, you have an extra comma that you don't need in your very first piece of dialouge.

Why can't I see, why can't I see
All the colors that you see
Please can I be, please can I be
Colorful and free?

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Stitches
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Re: (REQ)(One) Red Smoke, Black Fire

Post by Stitches » Thu Jun 15, 2017 4:54 pm

I highly suggest you read the section rules, which is literally right above this thread, before you vontinue further. The basic expectations for Advanced are found there.

Why can't I see, why can't I see
All the colors that you see
Please can I be, please can I be
Colorful and free?

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Erik Black
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Re: (REQ)(One) Red Smoke, Black Fire

Post by Erik Black » Thu Jun 15, 2017 4:59 pm

Was referring to length. It's not necessary to always match mine. My meaning didn't get across, either, it seems, so, the implication was I'd let a reply, say, 7+ paragraphs slide as 5-6, if my partner was not able to fully meet said length.

I don't quite see the enforcement of a character sheet as necessary, unless desired. I don't require it, often times don't want it. Often an image or some words does the work. I want to envision​ another persona as I learn about them, rather than know them before it even begins.

So, as long as apt writers willing to tackle this are within the free forum, I'd take that option.

As for that comma, I do that on purpose. I feel more depth with the dialogue that way, adding a pause here and there. Adds to the emphasis of age in the case of these two characters here, as well.
"Where's the grin you just wore? Did I break it from your lips?"

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Stitches
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Re: (REQ)(One) Red Smoke, Black Fire

Post by Stitches » Thu Jun 15, 2017 5:14 pm

Well, its lovely that you feel that way. However, if you want to participate in Advanced, you need character sheets. I can easily move this to Free Form if you truly feel the need to keep refusing. It isnt a suggestion, it is a requirement.

Also, it doesn't add anything to your dialogue.

Frankly, your request isn't really interesting and is very vague. Your plot isn't defined and your dialouge is flat. It also doesn't matter what you say about that comma, it's a grammatical error. Which, given your very rude and loud preaching in introductions, is quite annoying. I want you to refrain from doing that, by the way, as it could scare off young, new writers. There's no need to be so rude and critical of people based off the very first thing you've seen them write. For all you know, that's just how they write casually and they're actually a brilliant writer.

In any case, let me know if you're going to continue to be stubborn and I will gladly have a Simple moderator move your request and thread to Free Form. Which will enable anyone and everyone to participate with no sheet, no necessary approval, and no requirement to stay if you bore them.

Why can't I see, why can't I see
All the colors that you see
Please can I be, please can I be
Colorful and free?

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Erik Black
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Location: A place beyond~

Re: (REQ)(One) Red Smoke, Black Fire

Post by Erik Black » Thu Jun 15, 2017 5:20 pm

In my experience with a small number of forums, I've always given little teasers, such as this. My muse isn't always the best to write on, so the kickstarter isn't always great, but that is what development is for, isn't it?
"Where's the grin you just wore? Did I break it from your lips?"

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Erik Black
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Re: (REQ)(One) Red Smoke, Black Fire

Post by Erik Black » Thu Jun 15, 2017 5:23 pm

I'd recommend holding your tongue when you come to say something is boring, and think about how it could flourish in developing dialogue and action. I don't have the most free time, and my length has been jittery as of late, due to a neglect to play for some months.
"Where's the grin you just wore? Did I break it from your lips?"

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Taiska
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Re: (REQ)(One) Red Smoke, Black Fire

Post by Taiska » Thu Jun 15, 2017 6:42 pm

Hello there, I apologize that I have to intervene, but as stitches stated: Advanced has certain requirements that are mandatory. A character sheet is one of these mandatory requirements. I would suggest expanding upon the setting and plot a bit, I for one would have a fairly hard time jumping into this world you have created. As for your argument on "learning the other character's personality and past in the story." I have to disagree with this way of thinking. Learning of others' creations along the journey is not what makes it great; it's the memories and story you craft with the other person. Also, just because you know the other character's story, it doesn't mean that your character does.

I appreciate your attempt, but unless you revise your plot a bit, and refuse to require a character sheet; I will be forced to move this to simple.
Prosperity tries the fortunate, adversity the great

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Stitches
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Re: (REQ)(One) Red Smoke, Black Fire

Post by Stitches » Thu Jun 15, 2017 6:51 pm

Now that he's said that.

Dude, if you don't have that much time to write, why are you GMing a damn RP? In addition, I'm not saying your plot is boring; I'm saying your writing is. Unengaging, flat, emotionless. You write so passionlessly. How on Earth do you expect someone to jump in and be engaged?

As for holding my tongue? It's my personal opinion, and I have a right to express it in any way I fucking choose to. It just so happens that my personal opinion is that it is boring. Flat. Empty. Honestly, I wouldn't look twice at this.

You have now had two moderators tell you to shape up. Tai, maybe you should just move it. He doesn't seem to want to cooperate.

Why can't I see, why can't I see
All the colors that you see
Please can I be, please can I be
Colorful and free?

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